Hey there! I have not been able to get last night’s wedding and how it made me feel off my mind so I thought I would blog about it. I realized I haven’t been doing to well on my personal side of blogging most everything so far has been the pretty pictures, so I’m going to try to blog everyday. I started a 365 day self portrait album a little over a year ago and got maybe a month into it before I decided I couldn’t do it everyday. I was still in college and trying to finish up my degree with 24 credit hours in one semester. I was leaving my house everyday at 7:30am and then not arriving home until 8pm or sometimes later. I started to notice that once I got home I first of all didn’t really feel like taking a self portrait, secondly didn’t feel very creative with it always being so dark, and third of all felt all my images looked as if I felt gloomy everyday with the first two limitations I had placed before me. So I am setting out tomorrow to start that again! I feel like it will also help me blog everyday and possibly help me grow as an individual. Which is exactly what experience from the wedding last night that I want to share. ……
I was in the brides room (Natalie) with her and her bridesmaids doing the typical “getting ready” shots. The atmosphere was very calm and relaxing and I ironically didn’t feel any stress even though I was in the process of documenting someone’s wedding day! Her mother Mary arrived (she’s so sweet- I’ll get to that in just a second) and I could feel the emotion in the room rise! Her mother came into the wash room while she was styling her hair and they shared some sweet moments and she mentioned how no mother ever talks about “losing” her daughter. She said it has been a life changing experience for her and we would realize when we had daughters of our own. She mentioned that it was almost as if Natalie had died, we all snickered a bit, but she elaborated and said it really was, she wasn’t going to have any late night chats with her anymore and that part of their life is gone. I have pondered on her thoughts a bit and thought “am I enjoying what is going on around me while it’s happening?” I am not going to live ANY of these experiences again! The people will change, the settings will change, I will change. With each moment in life we pass through we change. I used to be really good at journal writing but have failed recently in that area. I guess you could say this is my journal but then again what happens when all this information is corrupt and no one can read it, if I don’t keep a hard copy of something my grandchildren will not have an opportunity to read about me and learn about the kind of person I came to be and how I got there.
This all happened while I slipped Natalie and Brad’s guestbook into her hands. After she was telling us these things she turned to me and said she really was greatful to have found me. First of all I do not accept praise very well and it’s always awkward to have someone tell you how wonderful you are, but especially when it’s someone you have met twice in your whole life. She shared some really sweet things with me, mostly about how talented I was. I am not going to elaborate her but I will say it was really hard to hear that, but it really was good for my soul. To have a mother be so sweet and have such kind words to say to me is such a blessing. I am so greatful I was able to have that experience yesterday. I learned that I need to hear those things as well as practice accepting praise.
I really do have a wonderful career! I love so much to be able to work with such kind loving people and families. I love going to work when I have weddings like this! Thank you so much to all my sweet, loving clients. I couldn’t be where I am today without all of you!
Enjoy!
-erika
